apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
