this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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