i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
