Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You are the jesus of drinking
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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