Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
