So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Randomize