I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
