i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
