well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Randomize
