I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
