I think i sorta joined a cult last night
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
