Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
