the new term for farting is butt boxing.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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