I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
