Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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