The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
"it" just moved
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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