pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
