What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
