Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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