he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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