I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize