Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
