What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
