She's JV to your varsity
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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