what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Someone stole a lamp last night.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
