Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
