he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
