You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
