You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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