She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
