One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
