Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
