Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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