She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You are a genius and a whore.
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