Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
