i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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