so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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