if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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