she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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