you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
