What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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