You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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