this beer tastes like vomit already
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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