His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Still dying that you shit outside
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We had sex on a dog bed..
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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