You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
