I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
