no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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