How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
