If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
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