just come out here and I will go home with you...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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