You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
