I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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