i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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