there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
