peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
cat food counts as protein by the way
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
