so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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