Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My vagina just clenched in fear
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
