Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
They are going to name an STD after you.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
