Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize