I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
