oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
