sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize